Walking!!

For the last two weeks Declan has been walking on his own. Yesterday he was kicking his ball quite expertly down the hall like a soccer star! His words now are Mama, Dada, Lily, ball, bunny or "bun ni ni" and bye bye. He babbles all of the time so I am sure he is saying more..it takes time to interpret the words. He has learned how to wave bye bye and clap. When he is happy or there is music on he wiggles his head from side to side in a little dance! He is so sweet and kind and independent! He loves to eat spinach, broccoli, and pasta. He LOVES blueberries so much, that sometimes his poop is blue! He is now 20 pounds and 30 inches long! His feet are so big that I know he will be so tall...I am so proud of him and each day is a miracle.

Making Baby Food!

My parents were sweet enough to give me a cute baby food maker and I have begun creating food for Declan. it is easier than I thought to make him apple sauce and it is like a little food processor that also steams and reheats frozen food. It is awesome and Declan really loves the things that I make!

http://www.williams-sonoma.com/products/beaba-babycook-baby-food-maker/

Diapers.com!

I wrote this review today to Diapers.com:

It is a very important and convenient service that Diapers.com has given me and my family! I am a stay at home Mommy and we have one car right now, so this affords me the luxury of getting all of my son's needs (including clothes, toys and organic baby food!) met quickly and frequently at a discount! I have found $10 coupons in Parents magazine! I can buy his diapers in large quantities as if I were buying from Costco (They do not carry his brand which is Pampers swaddlers, size 2), and the huge tubs of Desitin and A &D ointment that you really need with a newborn....so much poop! LOL! This has been a Godsend recommendation from my friend and fellow new Mommy Rain Pryor. Thanks to Rain and Diapers.com, being a new Mommy isn't as challenging!

YAY for Diapers.com!!

Crawling Backwards..

Little Declan has been crawling backwards the last couple of days. He will get on his knees and bounce and then scoot backwards. He has figured out that by moving his arms and hands sideways he can turn to different objects that he wants to play with or put in his mouth. He likes the mat that came with the play yard he got from Fischer-Price. They recalled it thankfully before anything happened to my precious baby, but we kept the animals from the mobile and the gymnastic like mat so he can exercise on it. He is getting so strong! I am very happy I am still breastfeeding him..you really can tell it makes a difference. He is now giving us voluntary baby kisses and showing his likes and dislikes clearer now. Last night at 4:30 baby started to make noise so I went to see about him. He was very wet! I had to change his clothes and diaper and Daddy came to help. Patrick is so sweet and kind and considerate with me and the baby. He got me a glass of water afterwards because he knows I get thirsty after I nurse. Little baby went back to sleep and didn't wake up again until 7:30...right before Daddy's alarm goes off! It is fun to listen to him play on the monitor for a little while while we lay in bed. It makes me so happy that that is the first thing I hear in the morning!

BABY WEIGHT..

Well, it felt as if I was going to be 160 lbs forever, but as I enter Declan's sixth month, I feel more myself now than ever. My right knee creaks now and I don't know what that is about, but I can kneel and sit on the floor now and I couldn't before. My knees have been pretty bad since he was born, but I guess it is the relaxin that takes a while to leave your system. Relaxin is a substance that gelatinizes your collagen on all of your joints which allow the hip bones to expand to expel the baby...the female body is amazing! chanting and positive affirmations It takes a lot of strength, chanting and positive affirmations not to be hard on myself and love myself as I am now. All of that poor conditioning from modeling and acting is hard to shake. Looking at my big healthy boy helps a lot too! I haven't looked at the scale, but I can tell I have lost so much more now. What feels great is knowing that I ate well and took my vitamins and worked out during my pregnancy. I tool excellent care and did not ever drink once. I ate very healthily and did not have any major weird cravings. I just wanted more of what I normally love like blueberries and mango. I feel very strong now and I love Declan's beautiful spirit. He is finding out he can scream loud now so he is really practicing expressing himself lately. He can also slide back the linen closet door all by himself now! He is really getting a grip on things and letting me know which activities he would like to do. I love being a Mommy!

OMG UNINTERUPTED SLEEP!!!

Last night for the first time in 15 months I had a night of uninterupted sleep! When I was pregnant I was either too full of life to sleep...so many hormones and new feelings and excitement..who can sleep? I would watch TV on the couch with Baby my cat. We would watch sunrise earth that was DVRed as I contemplated with wonder the new cute life that was swimming around in my womb! The fruit of my womb...I was thinking about that last night. "The fruit of thy womb Jesus" was running through my mind as I gazed at little Declan nursing. He used to be inside of me, and now that he is outside of me I still feel as though he is a part of me. I am his food source..I am somebody's food! The concept is mindblowing. I am providing him life support with the fluids he contuinues to need from me outside of my body. Nutrition, comfort and safety. The feeling and knowing the fact that he will always be a part of me is my initiation to motherhood and all that is holy and good in this world. I sacrify a piece of myself daily to my beautiful son and all of the sleepless nights and middle of the night feedings have all been worth it! He is beautiful and healthy and is SIX MONTHS OLD TODAY!!! He eats breakfast lunch and dinner now and has pretty much since the first of the year. He has said three words in the last two weeks. "MAMA", DADDY", and "CUTE". He can now push and pull the sliding mirror door on the linen clost open and closed, and does forward rolls both ways from a squatting position on his knees. He looks so proud! He is very srong and healthy and I know thathas alot to do with the fact that I am breastfeeding him. I am very proud of myself for continuing as long as I have. It hasn't been easy. Declan is waking up now...until later!

The Return of "George"

Yes kiddies, the old period is back by popular demand! Old "George" as my father and I referred to my period, is back after 16 whole months! I got my period when I was nine, so that is a nice long well deserved break! Declan is almost six months old and we are still breastfeeding succesfully. I hope to go as long as he seems to need it. My period has made me feel very good like I can think again. Like I am my own person almost. I feel as connected as ever with Declan and love him so much! To see him grow and change is a miracle! Each day is more and more precious! I am so grateful for his presence and I am forever changed by his joy!

INAUGURATION/INTEGRATION!

This morning while I was breastfeeding my beautiful omniracial baby boy, I watched in awe as we watched the 44th President of the United States of America get sworn in. He is biratial but lives and looks like a black man. I can't help but have a positive outlook for the future! 30 years ago people would call me the painful hateful "nigger" and shun me if they found out my race. Even though I am very "lightskinned" and look very white or latina, both my parents are black. My grandmother and my mother used to tell me stories of segregation and how it affected them back then. They lived in Texas where there was and still is great racial discrimination and prejudice. If you could "pass" for white, you did, and everyone understood. It was a ticket out to freedom. No one in my family ever did, although they could have. My son has big blue eyes and blond hair! He has grown so much and is such a beautiful spirit! He has been eating solids since the first of the year! He also eats rice crackers called "Baby MUM MUMMs" isn't that cute? He LOVES them and has one after lunch each day. He is really enjoying food and eats very well. He started with peas and then carrots and then sweet potatoes. All this you mix with rice cereal or barley or oatmeal in that order. We haven't gotten to the oatmeal yet. It is just such a joy to be with him and I am so glad I am still breastfeeding. AAP really stresses the importance of exclusive breastfeeding the first year. We are almost entering his 6th month and I am still going strong. I almost lost my will to do it when he started biting recently. I don't blame him, I know he is teething but it really hurts and breastfeeding can limit your mobility. I was seriously giving that formula the side eye! I just take it away when he does it and I think he is beginning to get the hint! We moved this past December and that was pretty stressful. I was very nervous to drive such a long way alone with precious baby Declan on board. Luckily my good friend Paula came along for the ride and even helped us motor through emptying the boxes for the kitchen! She rocks and has been so supportive throughout my pregnancy. She and I worked on her project for kids called M4TK..music for the kids. She taught a songwriting class in cities such as Long Beach and Compton after school so they can express their feelings about their troubles in a constructive way and make art out of painful situations they may be experiencing. I myself have always used writing poetry, and later songs, to express my feelings of loss, anger and confusion. She was with me when I discovered I was pregnant with Declan. I found out in a music shop in Long Beach! He and I have been playing piano together every day. He always selects the sound "vibes" to play..he is so smart! He went to his second dinner party, Thanksgiving at Marie's parent's house was his
first. We said goodbye to Patrick's friend Robert who is moving to Seattle. I will miss him, but look forward to visiting him there. Declan fell asleep on his shoulder which was so great! I am convinced he remembers Robert from in utero..Declan can grab things with his hands and pass them to the other and drop things on the floor to watch me pick it up and give it back to him again. He likes to forward roll and stand holding on to his floor gym rainbow arches. He has been saying "Mama" this past month and talks alot saying ayyyyeaaahh! and aauuuuuu. He is on the b's now because I am now rolling him around on the big blue yoga ball. This very ball is the one I was bouncing on to chant gong yo and nam myoho renge kyo after I started having contractions. Right after I finished chanting and stood up, my water broke on the rug right there. I swear it smelled like sweet flowers! How amazing. I gave the rug to my friend and neighbor Dean from the North Hollywood house. Now he will always have a part of us with him! HA!